It’s funny going back to my MySpace i read a blog i wrote when i was about to enter UCR. so silly to read how i used to think.
It’s like reading about a strangers life, which i can barely remember (or so i think I barely do, until i reunite with those people who remind me of it)
Today I met up with one of my closest friends from high school. We always meet up every couple of months to catch up. It’s great to know that even though we aren’t as close as we were in high school, when we get together it’s like we never left the LA that watched us grow. We like to go back to those times and bring back the memories that shaped a lot of our decisions.
Christian of 2009 was an introvert most of the time and an extrovert in many occasions. Christian of the last 48 hours of 2012 is still an introvert but has learned that extroversion is much more needed at this point, and does it with more ease.
I was so young, but its’s funny to say that that Christian, that 17 year old I was before i entered a university knew more of what she wanted to do with her life than the Christian I am now.
I know i still stand for the same values i always have. I have definitely matured and I’m definitely more rational. I know that my faith has changed. I entered university thinking that God may exist but i had no prove of it so i was never too sure. Now I see the proof of God’s existence. Proof is seen through me. Through the things i have been able to accomplish. I am blessed nothing more. Without God i would be nowhere.
“Have you ever been so lost? Known the way and still so lost?”-Katy Perry
Yup that’s exactly how i feel. It’s a constant thought in my head. I know what i want to do (kinda) and at the same time i don’t know if i should. It’s so difficult to make the choice. I feel split in different directions. I don’t know which one way to go.
What can I say? I am going through Emerging Adulthood and it is that time where confusion hits. I don’t know where exactly I’m going, or what i want to do. I do know that with faith and without giving up I will continue to do great things and will end up in a good place in life.
I must admit frustration hits hard at times. I feel powerless sometimes, without knowing where I’m going. But i breath and think that so far great things and opportunities have been placed in front of me.
Now that i come to the last few months of my undergraduate studies I know I must make the decision to either stay another year or graduate in 4 years as i wanted to originally.
I also reminisce about the amazing people I have met at school. My roommates and friends. Those people who have made everything so much easier. Those sleepless nights where we supported each other to stay up. Those homesick moments. Those heartaches and all our talks. It has all been a blessing. Those people are my angels who have helped me through everything.
Now off i go to continue living my life. To try and make something better of it and to make the most of it.
Like once upon a summer of 2009 I ended my blog…
The future awaits. I have nothing else to say.